From humble beginnings, Pa Ubu has grown into a candidate to be reckoned with. Born just off the landfill in Staten Island, Ubu was cursed, almost from birth, with a complete absence of both taste and smell. "I can eat anything, anywhere," says the hopeful candidate. "It's a blessing really, in an age of pollution and fast food." Bravely put. Still, there is no doubt that Pa Ubu's childhood was one of anxiety and deprivation. The son of a Donut King manager and Earring Hut clerk, Ubu was raised in the fast aisles of the Staten Island mall, where he was the subject of mockery and bullying due to an unfortunate body odor problem.

But by high school, Pa Ubu had learned how to work the system, and by the end of his senior year of high school, he had won his first political challenge to become class president. Ubu denies to this day that his election was due to the two other candidates dropping out of the race and attributes this "magical" turnaround to working his "you-know-what off". From there to here we have seen Pa Ubu make a steady climb to success. And we can't wait to see what he pulls out of the hat next!

This Week's Quote

"Racial profiling? Who needs it? We got handguns and AIDS working for us, not to mention all the dope the CIA's been pumping into ghettos since ... uh, you're not gonna print that, are you?"


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