"Read my lips ... Go Fuck Me!"

"Did Jesus ever give up? NO! He fought for what he believed in! America could learn a few lessons from that Jesus can-do spirit."

"My opponents bark like dogs when they have sex."

"All this city needs is a firm hand ... a slow hand ... a smooth, soft ... is it getting warm in here?"

"Ask not what your city can do for you, but what you can do for Ubu!"

"It's going to be a battle, America. When the dust has cleared and everybody goes home, you won't be proud about which side you're on you'll be proud about the fact that you could choose sides."

"I have never believed in a society that relies on the opinion of the so-called 'educaded elite.'"

"What I actually said was, 'I'd like to slip her some Vicks.' The misquote has caused a lot of embarrassment. I was just trying to say politely, that she had dragon breath."

"Read my lips: No new waxes! The candle industry is out of control!"

"This smile would never lie."

"People want a strong leader in for the long haul. I'm long and I'm strong and I'm down to get the election on."

"The standards in education are the key to this country's children's success."

"I don't get along with everybody. Hell, I don't even try to get along with everybody. My view is they should be trying to get along with me."

"Uh-oh ... I think I shot myself."
First words at Ubu's first press conference

"With me at the helm you'll know this country is in good hands."

"This country sucks. I'm gonna make it better for some. The rest of you can get back on the boat."

"You're only as drunk as your soberest soldier!"

"Standup tall and screw anything in your path!"

"This city stinks, and deodorant and perfumes ain't gonna fix things. We've got to bring in the shovels."

"More money, more money, more money."

"Who's your daddy?"